[autokad]

how I manage panic attacks and public speaking: public speaking: i pretend everyone in the audience is just 2 or 3 people, and that they are friends of mine. going into it isnt easy but once I get started that helps quite a bit. I teach a class so there is no avoiding public speaking, but I dont find that its much of a problem despite my dislike for it.

for panic attacks, they are really something separate from the anxiety of speaking to a lot of people. so far the only thing that I have as a weapon is to try and thwart them before they start or ride out the storm by distraction - 2048 helps, it really does! after 4 years of no panic attacks I thought they were conquered, but I did have an episode, so its ongoing but managed I guess.

depression: I was depressed for a long time. I was able to put an end to it by putting dark thoughts out of my mind, concentrating on good things, and not talking myself into thinking how bad things were. I consider it safely conquered. it sounds like a platitude "dont think negative things and you will get better" but its not. at first it is hard but then one day you will wake up and everything has changed.

History: I get panic attacks every (so far) only on even years and so far (only between the months of may-august). i dont know why... I can have close calls outside of those time restraints but the full blown the world is ending panic attacks have only happened during those time frames. I really dont have an ability to stop them once they trigger from happening, they can happen at 4am or 3pm at work. distraction and not thinking about them seems to help the most.

depression: I was depressed from 1998 to 2012. from 2010-2012 it was managed, but now I'm like a different person. I have never taken any medication for anything above.