[benten10]

I have a problem that's opposite of his: a fear of acceptance. Making a game out of the rejection game is all fun, except when you don't get rejections. Imagine the guy you ask for a ride across the town actually insists you take the ride with him. The girl (re: an earlier comment)who you ask for a number gives you her number, but also asks for yours, and actually calls you to make sure it's right.

So here's my conundrum: one one hand, there's a fear of going beyond my comfort zone. On the other there's what appears to be (likely quite unjustified) confidence that I will not get rejected as I hope. And thus, stasis.

Was it Twain (or Groucho Marx?) who said "I don't want to become part of any club that will happily take me as their member"? That's quite a problem for me, and it's not as devastating as general fear of approaching people, but still quite annoying.

[elliejay]

I think I may know where you are coming from. I, too, am afraid of acceptance, but it's partly because I think I know better than others that I am not truly worthy of their acceptance. I am dismayed when really good people want to reach out to me and be friends. I feel like I will be living a lie if I try to buoy their misconception of my value and I do not want to disappoint them. But the mere thought of trying to maintain that lie (that I am worthy of their friendship and affection) is just so exhausting for me to even imagine. Therefore, it is so much easier for me to avoid acceptance and just live my hermetic little life. Which ultimately, leads me back to a fear of rejection, I guess. Hmm.

[benten10]

Ehh, you have not hung out with other people enough then. ;) You may be a 'loser', so to say, but most people around you are even bigger 'losers'. When I came to the country I am now in, I saw an image of amazing glowing enlightened creatures in my peers and everyone around me. Four years in, and I realize they are more immature, socially awkward and stranger than I ever was, and most of them are also lot stupider. These days, I beat myself over not figuring that out earlier. Look around yourself closely, and you'll realize hey, you're actually pretty awesome! :)

[solarmist]

That sounds a bit like fear of rejection mixed with imposter syndrome (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Impostor_syndrome).