Hacker News new | ask | show | jobs
by balabaster 4168 days ago
If you like a challenge, why did you fold from the challenge of enjoying a sense of community with those that appear uninteresting to you? Everyone has something to learn and something to teach. I bet if you'd stuck it out, there was much you could have learned from them, and them from you. Closing yourself off in a room robs both you and them from a chance to grow.
2 comments
ObviousScience 4168 days ago
I hear that a lot, but I just don't have about more than even 30 minutes of pretend interest to give people I find boring.

Maybe I'm an asshole, but I genuinely prefer to just sit alone and think about things than talk to people I find boring, even if they have yet another funny story about something to do with fishing that's slightly different than the others.

This isn't to say I don't go to the bar and chat up people in small time windows, I just don't bother to spend several hours talking to someone I don't find interesting.

I don't see why I should use my time that way.

link
balabaster 4168 days ago
Most of the talk is superficial talk about stuff that doesn't matter. They're telling you because you're listening. They haven't got to the deep stuff yet, perhaps they're not invested in you(?) Why do they enjoy fishing? Perhaps they like the solitude, why? Maybe it's the same reason you enjoy it. Maybe they don't like people either. Why is that? Perhaps it's the same reason as you. Perhaps there is a deeper underlying topic to discuss than that fish they caught that's slightly different than the other person's fish. You're confusing superficial small talk with meaningful conversation. Maybe you're not digging because you don't care and that's fair enough. The bigger question is why don't you care? Is there nothing more to that person than meets the eye? Or do you just not care about them enough to dig past the superficial small talk to the real person underneath?

What is it you prefer to think about rather than reach out and make a meaningful connection with others?

link
lkbm 4168 days ago
If you like a challenge, why do you avoid the challenge of enjoying eating pickle and marshmallow sandwiches?

Enjoying a challenge doesn't mean doing stuff you don't enjoy. You might like hanging out with people, but not everyone is the same. That's okay.

link