[jonpress]

You have to ask for equity at the beginning otherwise you have no leverage down the line. They don't want dead equity on their books so they are more likely to give you the position you want if you already hold vested equity.

If a company refuses to give you equity, you shouldn't join that company - People don't change like that; if the employer has an exploitative attitude at the start, it's not going to change.

Also, you have to be assertive when you talk to them or they won't respect you and will just use you and put someone less qualified (but more assertive) in your place.

It really sucks, but this is life. You have to lock-in the value of everything you produce before you even start! You can't give other people options because they will screw you.

Not all managers are like this, but most of them (by far) are! I think Silicon Valley might be an exception - Mostly because CEOs there are younger and more optimistic.