[rmcastil]

Great copy! My only issue is with the "How I Can Fix Your SQL Server Woes". Everything prior is the right level on the ladder of abstraction. This section needs to be more specific though since it is the last area besides the testimonials to handle potential client objections.

It needs to have actual use cases where your Dad's expertise helped these businesses. You can think of it as the bullet points in a resume. It may also help to include some kind of case study that formalizes your Dad's offering.

[drglitch]

Speaking of copy, i would rephrase the sentence at very end: "Stanley developed a reporting utility to analyze and uncover possible issues with future clients before they became a problem."

... who became a problem? the future client? (or their data) :)

Also, whole page is 1.5MB, 1.3mb of that is a photo of subway rails on top which, while cute, adds zero value. Consider compressing or replacing that.

Great copy otherwise!

[aarondf]

Updated the image :)

Thanks!