I was someone back then that I didn't like, I'm glad I moved on but if I did a comprehensive job of putting it in words I'd have to re-live that time again, and who I was. Hate to go all Bladerunner, but I've seen things, done things, that I no longer want the memory of. Putting it into words would give it life again.
You're most likely familiar with Orwell's "Down and Out in Paris and London" and "The Road to Wigan Pier", two of the finest books ever written.
The first is his "vivid and moving account of life below poverty line", first in Paris, when he, after resigning being a servant of the Empire as a police officer in Burma, had to resort to low-wage, hard, menial 17-hour works in Paris restaurants, and later when he lived as a "tramp" in London, going from spike to spike, meeting others like him.
I don't know if you'd "enjoy" these books though... But they are unrivaled in their shrewdness and, well, it is Orwell and he can write better than anyone.
How about practical advice to those who find themselves in the same situation? Dictate into a sound recorder to minimise the engagement with the memories?
I was someone back then that I didn't like, I'm glad I moved on but if I did a comprehensive job of putting it in words I'd have to re-live that time again, and who I was. Hate to go all Bladerunner, but I've seen things, done things, that I no longer want the memory of. Putting it into words would give it life again.