[axotty]

Point taken. At risk of being further downmodded, I have to say that I don't consider myself to be very graceful. I'm not sure how much I can change that (I find fake personalities exhausting).

However, the way you phrased your criticism was very polite, yet firm. It drove your point home in a self evident kind of way. It's got me thinking and I appreciate that.

[HeyLaughingBoy]

If you'll listen to another old guy who wouldn't mind a nap:

There's a world of difference between having a fake personality and learning to politely and gracefully interact with others even when you really don't want to. Those skills are far, far more important than anything technical you will learn in your CS classes.

[axotty]

Yes, and then there's that sweet spot you find when you're walking the fine line between being polite and being patronizing. That perfectly guised condescension with a rich aroma of political correctness that still delivers the intentional underlying message.

That's the real skill to master, especially amongst the smug closeted egomaniacs in the programming world. But as a normally blunt person, it all seems a little silly(and very insincere) to me.

[irishcoffee]

You ever read The Catcher in the Rye?

I'd suggest reading it. The protagonist struggles with "fake" throughout the whole book. Might give you some perspective.

Theres nothing wrong with being a bit blunt and direct, ageism is well beyond that threshold.

[axotty]

Yes, I've read it. It's not a very good book, in my opinion.

The end of your second point fails to address the comment you responded to, I was addressing an entirely separate issue about how this community (and to a lesser degree, the programming community) chooses to communicate. Specifically, how it fails to actually remove flaming, trolling, rudeness, and arrogance. It merely wraps these things nicely in pseudo intellectual packages.

Anyways, I wasn't defending my (purely spiteful) "ageist" comment, nor do I intend to. Although, I keep getting baited to address it, so here I am. Rest assured though, while I may never transform into a different gender or race, I will certainly age. I'm sure one day, when I'm older, someone on the internet will say a rude, politically incorrect comment towards me, and I shall weep with regret and understanding.

[binarysolo]

re: fake personalities

For what it's worth, I do think there's way more utility in differentiating oneself by having opinions one believes in, vs trying to be a crowd pleaser (which really adds no long term value to anything). Now the onus is really one oneself to make sure that those strong opinions are right, of course. :) Kinda like on HN, having a differentiable and unique idea/product/startup is way better than all the me-toos, as long as the idea is actually any good. :)

Consistency is one of those things that people try to figure out all life. I personally respect those who are clear in taking a stance even if I don't agree with them -- they've found their niche. The alternative is someone who's trying to play short term efficiencies and please everyone -- all they say are words everyday, words that carry no weight or meaning behind them.

Pardon the jumbled metaphors and all that. :)

PS -- Being mindful of what you type on the internet, just like being mindful of what you say in real life, is helpful in being genuine. Specifically it's to understand what other people are trying to say, and also understand the ramifications of your own words. And as you exercise this mindfulness, it'll become second nature and become a skill.

PPS -- re: gracefulness - just remember the downside value of a comment is not 0 but negative, and the expected value of a comment is not necessarily positive.