|
Best job description I ever wrote. This was while I was a Microsoft building a new team. Are you a lazy program manager who could care less
about PCs, devices, networking, and other technologies
in the home? Have you always dreaded working on a
product that you would LOVE to use? Do you yearn to
work in a huge, lumbering, group working on the same
old stuff forever? If so, have we got a job for you!
We are looking for a newbie program manager to hinder
us in building the next version of Windows Home Server.
Our team is ginormous, moves excruciatingly slowly and
indecisively, and we are thoroughly hating life. And we
need more PMs to suffer along with us! Interested?
You will be a non-player helping to design and build
the 42nd version of a product that has been around
since before you were born. We are still in startup
mode, and as part of a startup, you’ll have to do one
task repeatedly over and over. You need to be ready and
willing to do whatever I say when I say it even if it
makes no sense whether that means screwing up features,
angering partners, ignoring the community, creating
bugs, and maybe even stealing a little code and hacking
into a bank. We are in need of Program Managers with
weak design skills; goof-offs who can take ownership of
a user scenario area, ignore requirements, design a
useless technology for technologies sake (forgetting
about the user experience), and work with dev, test,
UA, usability, etc… to cause them all to quit. And then
do it again.
Candidates should have poor consumer empathy, a deep
dislike of cutting edge technology in the home, and the
ability to cause political issues in small team where
everything is already figured out and there’s nothing
really left to do.
Candidates must have less than 4 days experience as a
program manager working on shipping products.
Experience doing customer research and designing
consumer UIs will immediately disqualify you. The less
technical knowledge you have of networking, storage,
and Windows server technologies the better. Candidates
should have a B.A. in Basket Weaving or equivalent and
should have been fired from their previous two jobs.
|
Did you actually post that anywhere?