[jeffesp]

There are people (who keep this stuff confidential) to talk to though. You have to pay them and it can be difficult to find one that just doesn't want to blame the past instead of helping you move forward. But these people do exist and are helpful. I suggest finding someone who knows something about cognitive behavioral therapy.

I agree with a sibling comment here that it is vital to talk through these things. If you can't trust your friends, first find someone else to talk to and then find some new friends.