[couchand]

I'm basing this on my own personal experiences traveling on four continents. I just try to be consistently nice to people and not too forward, particularly if they seem uncomfortable. I don't think I said anything about a universal truth, but I do think people tend to be just as friendly to you as you are to them. YMMV.

[UrMomReadsHN]

You said some very universal statements like "Just walk up to random people and try to find out what makes them tick." This advice can be very detrimental in some cultures.

I am talking about things like this- Friendliness does not make friends in Japan - http://www.uri.edu/iaics/content/2000v10n1/06%20Blaine%20Gos...

The other implication was friendliness is a Good Thing and more friendliness is Better.

The idea that friendliness is even desired with [varying levels of] strangers is cultural specific. Or how much friendliness is acceptable or too much.

I am an oddity in my culture because i wish for much much less friendliness with strangers than my culture dictates is appropriate. I could go for far less stranger friendliness in my life. [Depending on the degree of stranger].

[couchand]

The statement you quoted is a suggestion, not an attempt at a universal truth. I do believe that connecting with other humans is a Good Thing. That's why we're here.

The most important feature of Bell Labs was the long hallway that forced all these very smart people to interact with each other on a regular basis. The reason "everyone" looks back on their college days with nostalgia is the connections they made so readily with others.

The article you linked to states: In all actions, Japanese prefer kindness over friendliness. Friendships form through kindness... I'm honestly not sure what the difference between the two is. The article seems to indicate it's mostly about smiling and over-sharing. Ok, so don't smile too much, remain courteous and kind. I don't see that being too far off, and the article also mentions there are more commonalities in the dynamics of friendships across cultures than there are differences.

Feel free to continue to live your life the way you see fit, the way that makes you the most comfortable and doesn't challenge you. I don't mean for this to sound judgmental; I really do believe you'll be missing out, but it's your choice to make and I don't at all fault you for making it.

The original comment I was replying to was this: People need an actual "excuse" to engage someone, like being at the same event or working together or practising the same sport. That's simply not true, but it is a quite common misconception. I thought I would disabuse the poster of that notion, but I didn't mean to imply that my own way of living life is the only one.

[UrMomReadsHN]

The over the top friendliness that is desired, in my culture is off putting to me. It comes across as extremely disingenuous to me. I don't mind (I even like) "casual friendliness" but in a different, more muted, way that is socially considered good manners in my culture. I lived overseas and i was much more comfortable there because the interactions among strangers were much more comfortable for me and didn't seem forced, fake, or over the top. And i did make a lot of friends out of strangers there.

And i am CERTAINLY not opposed to engaging with strangers or challenging myself, in fact that is how i meet my partner, i approached a random stranger.

Connecting with other humans IS a good thing, but asking random strangers "what makes them tick" isn't culturally appropriate in some places and may lead to ostracism and embarrassment, not connection. Depending on your culture.