[wpietri]

An adult trying to disappear would not have a very hard time saying, "Hey, everybody! I'm going to take some time away from social media and go on a trip. I'll be back on-line in a couple months. I look forward to reading all your posts when I'm back." In some ways, I think social media makes it easier to disappear, as you can give everybody a plausible explanation at once, rather than trying to talk individually to the many people who might be plausibly concerned by a sudden disappearance.

[mrjatx]

I didn't mean go on a long vacation. I meant disappear and start a new life. You wouldn't post about that on social media, you'd just pack your bags and go. But social media will have your friends being detectives about where you've gone, someone from reddit might see you at the airport or grabbing coffee, etc.

[throwaway022009]

Unfortunately, it's actually not that hard. My brother vanished when he was 23 and to this day, he's still a missing person's case. You'd hope that your friends would search for you, but most people are just too busy with their own lives to exert too much effort when it's not their problem.

He was someone with over a thousand Facebook friends, but no one seemed to notice that he stopped posting. The first few months he was missing, his friends continued to send him invites to parties, events, etc. As time when on and he didn't respond, they naturally stopped sending invites. A few friends sent emails saying, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. I'm worried. Call me." Eventually they too stopped. All it took was a matter of months before people stopped to reach out.

When news broke that he was first missing, his friends seemed more annoyed than anything. I suppose most of them thought this was a hoax (not that he's ever done anything like this before). They were reluctant to be bothered, to break up their day to simply answer a few questions the detectives had to paint a better picture of my brother. I don't blame them too much, no one wants additional drama in their lives.

Of course, the scenario will be unique for everyone. Everyone has a different group of friends, different resources. Unfortunately for me, I was blocked. I practically had access to all his accounts with the help of his girl friend, but at the end of the day, I couldn't get a subpoena to see if there were any deleted gmail or facebook messages. I wasn't able to get a subpoena to track the cellphone fast enough. He was just casted off as a statistic, just another quarter-life crisis suicide case. I sincerely hope the family gets some good news about Dan Ha, because there's nothing worse than having to wake up every morning wondering if you could have done more.

[LaFolle]

Hi throwaway022009, your story reminds me of Steven Wilson's concept and inspiration for his new album: http://youtu.be/49HxZ8yVpqk?t=51s

Hope he is happy where ever he is.

[wpietri]

I am so sorry to hear this. That must be heartbreaking.

[baddox]

He has every right to do so, but I don't think he has the right to not have concerned people looking for him.

[mrjatx]

No where did I refute that.

[baddox]

Looks like we're bound to keep replying to each other "but I didn't claim that either."

[mrjatx]

You're commenting like I refuted or disagreed with you about something - I was just positing the opposite, that yes, because of what you said it's more difficult for someone who wants to go run away from everything to do so. I was agreeing with you.

[wpietri]

I didn't mean that either. But if you're going to disappear, I think the way to do it these days is misdirection.

[Shivetya]

or just drop out of social media without notice, far better than letting know your plans. Its so very easy to vanish in this country if you are smart. Most of those who do only get caught by chance or some stupid act.

One recent in Georgia was only caught as part of a traffic stop.

[CamperBob2]

Or the Eric Frein case in Pennsylvania, where the idea of searching abandoned buildings in the area apparently never occurred to the elite state and Federal police agencies.

You don't have to be smart to hide from the police... you just have to be smarter than the police. Of course, they have the advantages of unlimited money, unlimited patience, and (apparently) unlimited surveillance power, so staying hidden for the rest of your life is going to be a lot harder than dropping out of sight in the first place.

[tedunangst]

Frein was probably a case of too obvious. You have a woodsman hiding in the woods. Where do you look? Looking in old buildings is obvious, but also exactly where you'd think frein would expect the police to look and the last place he'd hide. Still should have looked a little closer, but it's like I knew you'd know I would you'd know I would know not to hide there...