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by incision
4237 days ago
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>"I can understand not being able to fit in to a homogenous culture, but this guy is just an asshole." Clearly. Problem is, in my experience... 1.) No one wants to get involved. 2.) It's easier to be accommodating of assholes when they're directing their behavior at someone who isn't "one of you" on some level or another. 3.) It's easier to be accommodating of an asshole who also happens to be a "great engineer", "would do anything for a friend" or has their childish nonsense rationalized as "lacking people skills". I'd wager someone, likely many people in that situation knew exactly what was going on yet did nothing for one or more of the above reasons. As a group we just need to recognize that those people among us, our friends and coworkers who are shitty to the loner on the team or rude to the cleaning lady, but wonderful to their peers - they're assholes and deserve to be held to account for it. |
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1. Talk to the asshole. Fits well with the ideal "take care of it yourself" ethic, but in most cases, I don't think this will go well. Fights, defensiveness, turf, escalation, etc. Works well when asshole is not actually an ass, just ignorant.
2. Talk to HR. Seems snitchy, but it can have real results, since HR often has levers to pull here.
3. Talk to a manager (theirs or yours). Ditto.
My experience is that when you're in an organization, as much as I'd like to "take care of it myself" by talking directly to the culprit, usually talking to superiors / HR is the way to go.
That requires that the HR & management can handle it of course. In most cases I've seen, they know what to do. In a few, they didn't -- and that was indicative of a company that was doomed.