[annythesillicat]

Thank you everyone for your kind advice and encouragement. I really appreciate and can not express how much I feel thankful for this with my limited English. Since my older brother pass away. I never show weakness to anyone even my family. I just don't know how to be miserable or share negativity with people around me. (Please allow me to be drama, please ignore if you don't like it.) Everyone sees me as a smart and strong person and they can rely on me and I'm happy with that. I'm happy when people around me is happy. But why I'm too emotional so much now about Google and Amazon because, I realised, actually, I wanted to be accepted. I was thinking if I get the job, I'll make more money so that my mom will stop asking me to marry with the guy I don't know(in Thai culture, when a guy marry with a woman, a gloom has to pay money to a bride family), just accept who I am. I want my dad stop worrying about me and be proud of who I am. I want my brothers to have a better education, better than I had, be a better person than I am. And everybody just be happy. That's all I want in life. I just complain. And I know this hard time will pass as I always pass so many storms. Just this time, I expected myself too much so it hurt so much, and I couldn't figure out how to handle this drama emotional. time heals... One thing I know, to me, failure is just an event but not an identity. It happen, I acknowledge and experience that I'm sad, depressed, cry if it necessary. Then detach from it, put my shit together and move on. I can only imagine I will be a batter person than I was. I will try better with SoftLayer on upcoming interview soon. And if I fail again, it is totally fine because I already feel thankful for any opportunities I was given. Thank you and goodluck everyone!!! :)

[annythesillicat]

This is real mothership of drama queen. writing last night while I was drunk.so embarrassing and can not delete it. oh well. All I want to say is thank you everyone for your advice, sharing, encouraging!