[untog]

Context? If you're at dinner with friends you don't say "would you mind passing me the salt". With a stranger you met for the first time you certainly might.

"Please" is not a pleading word, it's a polite word. If you're going to give life advice, make sure it's right.

[jacalata]

Really? I would say that at dinner with friends. Why reserve civility and politeness for people you don't know?

[untog]

True - I was using an extreme example to make a point.

It would be more accurate to say that I don't have to, and that I sometimes don't. I'd be more likely to say "Can you pass me the salt?" or "pass the salt, will you?", which strikes me as a middle ground between "Please can you pass me the salt" and "Pass me the salt."