[lobster_johnson]

The only Murakami novel that has the author lose a cat, his wife and encounter "something magical that is somehow related to the Manchuria war" is The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle. I can only assume you read it twice by mistake.

Several of his novels do feature a man with a cat, and several novels feature distant women. But if I remember correctly, the only other married narrator is the protagonist in South of the Border, West of the Sun, and there is a character in 1Q84 who is married and divorced.

To say that the plots of any of his books have exactly the same plot would be a huge mischaracterization, though. The only two books that are even vaguely similar are Wind-Up and the earlier Dance Dance Dance (the last part of a quadrilogy about the "Sheep Man"); the latter feels a lot like a preliminary sketch for the vastly superior Wind-Up, in particular the fascination about hotel rooms and shared dreams. But the plots are completely different.

[hokkos]

Kafka by the River is also related to missing cats (killed), ancient wars and something magical. I loved Kafka by the River, but couldn't finish The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle.

[lobster_johnson]

Kafka by the Shore. It is very different from Wind-Up Bird even though there are cats in it.

I recommend trying Wind-Up again. The first ~100 pages are difficult to get through at times (the narrator is infuriatingly apathetic), but one you get past that, it's an incredible page turner. I liked Kafka a lot, but Wind-Up is his masterpiece.