| Same disclaimer as firstOrder. Throwing another opinion into the ring: My immediate thoughts revolved around: > 5k rolex > 250k euro car > tries to help people > throws parties for them > lets them use his pool This could be seen as someone in a position of power, and someone happy to let other people know that. No judgement on anyone for rewarding themselves materially for their success. It's just not the same as sharing a box of doughnuts with your family and them then being ungrateful behind your back. It's more akin to showing people how many doughnuts you have, letting them touch them, compliment you on your good taste, but not letting anyone eat them. Just because you don't eat them in front of them doesn't mean it's not antagonising. Aware of how weak that analogy just got. It would take an absolute buddhist monk of a person to not indulge in toy-buying, I can't imagine the self-control it would take, but I think that's the only solution to not end up with the comments. Can you imagine people making negative comments if the FU-money-guy gave 90% of his cash to charitable causes? No reason why he should, but it puts his current situation in contrast. > We also live a decent life (near the beach, pool, etc) > we invite everyone to spend some time with us for free in the summer (saving them 1000's in holiday rentals and food) > We never show off You're definitely not showing off directly, I'm sure you would never mean to, but I do think by virtue of you raising your living conditions up (way) above those of your peers (I'm assuming) and then thinking you're doing them a favour by sharing it with them, the net effect is the same. As an alternative idea to saving them 1000s in rentals and food, you could just rent a modestly-priced house together on neutral territory. Especially if you're starting to think people are taking your generosity for granted. |
If you have a 250k car, you aren't going to buy one for each of your friends, sure, but if any of them calls you asking to take it for a ride or a couple days, he has no problems giving them the keys, I honestly don't know what else you can do to not make them resent you. He lets his friends have parties in his house (gives them the keys) when he is out on business so they have a nice place to party.
As for us, we open the doors of our house to anyone (Family and friends). We live in a very desirable place, where most people pay in the 1000's to vacation there for a week or two, we open our house for them to stay there if they want (they do). This is while I'm working, so we aren't really talking about doing a vacation together. It's AirBnB for free if you want to call it that. We give them keys, they are free to do whatever they want. Eat our food. Basically as if it was their own holiday home. Again, not exactly sure what can be done to not be resented for it. I guess don't invite anyone there, don't talk about the house, don't say nothing so people think we live in the projects?
As for giving money, I know for sure, even as a percentage, both me and my cousin give much more than at least all of our family members (not sure about friends as it is something I don't talk with them about). He financially supports an orphanage (20+ kids) by himself along with other charitable works he has over there. As for us, we give to Watsi, support various children as well, among other things (UNICEF, local charitable organisation that work with poor families with newborns), and one of the reasons we are trying to save up money is to be able to create and support an halfway house in our future. The amazing thing is, I wrote about the charitable aspects on my previous post, and I deleted it since it seemed like bragging. I had no problem with the rest, since that to me, specially when we really do try to share with our close family and friends our successes, it is a matter of joy.
This is what I mean though. I think people with a bit more success don't mind sharing their stuff (in Portugal), but even so, it seems people take it the wrong way, and resent them for it. Do we resent pg and others that share their resources/time/money with ycombinator startups? No! We admire and are happy they do, but it seems as soon as it is closer to home, the resentment does come up.