[hawkice]

Some of my instincts are telling me the interaction you are describing has little to do with age, either. I think this has to do with price point. I am young myself, and (if I didn't know how to program) I'd probably end up hiring someone at the low-cost end of the spectrum, because $100/hour for good people is... wowzers.

But that premium typically buys you more than just people who discuss things more professionally. Paying professional wages gets you people who, when they notice there might be a conflict between what you describe and what's possible, propose the best solutions, instead of just sassing you. Sounds weird, but that really is one of the most valuable skills freelance engineers can develop. And the more abstract you can get with your solutions, the better -- if you pitch the idealistically abstract "you will have more money", your life gets very easy. Obviously you'll use more details in your pitch.