| Find a doctor and get diagnosed. I'm not going to tell you that it will help you get better...I can't promise that. But getting the diagnosis will allow you to sign up for Social Security disability and keep you from eating through your savings. Everyone is different and every depression is different and the only thing I'm virtually certain of about your situation is that the stress of eating into your savings isn't helping you. Having someone who forces you to talk about yourself beyond a superficial level on a regular basis probably won't hurt either. That said, here's what I wish someone had told me ~10 years ago when I first sought help: 1) Psychiatrists are too quick to prescribe medication. It alleviated the initial symptoms and allowed me to go back to work, but it separated me from my emotions in a way that's been hard to recover from since I've stopped taking them. That sentence looks weird to read, but it's the only way I know to describe it. 2) Try CBT and mindfulness therapy first. Also, socialization exercises help. It may not seem like it, but simply adding a "how was your weekend?" to your interactions with the cashier at the supermarket or forcing yourself to smile at 1 person a day can make a difference, however small. 3) Depression isn't only disease. It's a state of mind that can be useful. Take this opportunity to think deeply about things. Your current state of mind probably allows you to "dwell" on an issue in a way that I sometimes wish I could regain. 4) Sunlight helps. If you're feeling near catatonic, you might try being near catatonic in the park, in a back yard or anywhere where you can sit outside. Good luck with getting better and I hope you can believe that it's worth it to try. |