Hacker News new | ask | show | jobs
by pauleastlund 4291 days ago
#1 is my wife, by literally an order of magnitude. That's about right; we have a truly extraordinary relationship.

After that, unfortunately, this ranking is nonsense. #2 is someone I met once and have never communicated with since. We have only one friend in common. Totally bizarre. My good friends are scattered between ranks 5 and 50, amidst a sea of near-strangers.
4 comments
Xcelerate 4291 days ago
> That's about right; we have a truly extraordinary relationship.

A relationship like this is what I want more than anything else in life, so I hope you don't mind me derailing the conversation a little bit to ask: to what do you credit with getting along so well? My parents also had an extraordinary relationship (before my mother passed away), and I'm always interested in figuring out what exactly it is that makes some couples so happy together.

link
pauleastlund 4291 days ago
For us, it's that we're extremely close friends (we were friends for some time before dating), we both have a tremendous respect for one another, we have the same (fairly dark) sense of humor, and when we found each other we both knew how lucky we were and both were willing to upend all of our previous individual plans for life in order to be together.

None of that is a reproducible formula for a perfect relationship, and honestly my personal track record wasn't great before finding my wife. Really the only advice I have is to find someone that's not just a significant other but a very close friend -- a lot of people say that, but not many truly have it -- and, when you find someone like that, put her (or him) before absolutely everything.

link
Xcelerate 4290 days ago
Thank you for the advice! It means a lot.
link
nicholasjon 4291 days ago
I also had it pick out my wife by an order of magnitude over everyone else -- and that's the best I can say for the rest of the list: it included everyone else. I can't see any particular order or pattern there. My last place, theoretically most unimportant connection is actually a good friend of mine I interact with regularly offline.
link
sylvinus 4291 days ago
Exactly the same here. #1 is my wife and #2 is a relative stranger, which I should actually not have on Facebook. Probably a bug.
link
corobo 4290 days ago
Similar results here.

#1 is a close friend

#2 is some random that I should probably not be friends on Facebook with added a week or two back. Acquaintance at best

#3 is someone I've not spoke to in years

#4 is the SO

#5 is another person I've not spoke to in years who is friends with #3 if that means anything to anyone scouring comments for bugs

#7-11 are randoms that I've spoken to a couple of times "keep in touch!"

#12 is in my reality #2 spot after the SO, very close friend we speak pretty much daily and all that

link
mojobot 4291 days ago
Same here. #3 is my friend's dog. She's cute, but I've never met her. We don't communicate much either.
link