[nkozyra]

For one, I don't think preference has any bearing on this. By most accepted definitions, racism is the belief that one or more race is inherently better or worse in some regard.

So, unless you say "white women are inherently better at attracting me on dating sites" I'm not sure how it could be shoehorned into racism.

[yummyfajitas]

By most accepted definitions, racism is the belief that one or more race is inherently better or worse in some regard.

What if that belief were true? Would it still be racist?

Concretely (since a reply brings up biology): I believe African women are "better" (taller, have larger asses, and less body hair) than White/Asian women. I believe these differences are primarily biological, likely genetic, in origin.

I do discriminate on the basis of traits correlated with race - I am more attracted to tall, dark women with larger asses. I've dated more women from Africa in the past 6 months than from any other continent.

Am I racist?

(Note: I'm not African, nor will I be offended if you call me racist, so don't hold back. I'm simply attempting to understand the viewpoint expressed.)

[jrs99]

No, it's not racist.

But it doesn't matter. What does it matter to a 4'11" black woman that on average, black women are taller than women of other races? What does it matter to you? Unless you love a woman with a large ass and you have to pick a random woman out of a hat filled with the names of women from only one race, then your best chance might be to select from the hat for black women.

[jiggy2011]

No (at least based on this one hypothetical), unless you use that to justify institutionalised discrimination such as trying to prevent non black women from using dating websites because their asses are too small.

[Mangalor]

I think its racist. If you hold the belief for the group it means it can subconciously affect your beliefs about the individual in the group. i.e., prejudice.

[yummyfajitas]

To clarify, you believe I'm subconsciously believing certain individual black women are taller than they are in reality?

If I could persuade you that I were accurately measuring every woman's height (perhaps by making observations like "she's up to my shoulder" or "she's up to my jaw"), would you be convinced I am not racist?

[jiggy2011]

Only if you hold it to be due to biological differences rather than cultural.

Edit: You must also use it as a justification for discrimination.

[A_COMPUTER]

Many people say yes it is racist:

  http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_politics/politics/2014/04/okcupid_and_race_is_it_racist_to_date_only_people_of_your_own_race.html
  http://www.racialicious.com/2009/10/09/of-okcupid-and-denials-of-racism/
  http://everydayfeminism.com/2013/11/racial-preferences-are-racist/
  http://www.rolereboot.org/sex-and-relationships/details/2013-11-if-you-wont-date-people-of-a-certain-race-youre-raci

In some cases it is only yes if you are white.

[deciplex]

All four of those articles go out of their way not to discuss any particular races at all, in the context of dating. Of the four, I think the one on everydayfeminism.com probably gets it the best: it's okay to have preferences, same as you might for hair or eye color or height or whatever else, but depending on the strictness of your adherence to your "rule" - yes it's racist.

So the articles you've linked are fine, IMO.

However I do get the sense and agree with you, that for a great many people it's only racist if you're white, and that for other ethnicities racially-exclusionary dating is fine. Mainly I think that's because most people haven't given it much thought.

[jrs99]

then if you're not a racist in dating, you're still probably a racist in something else in terms of the degree they're thinking.

[colmvp]

Regarding that Slate article:

> In a somewhat similar vein, one of OkCupid’s questions reads as follows: “Would you strongly prefer to go out with someone of your own skin color/racial background?” I was struck by the not inconsiderable number of people who answered “yes”—including some people I know “in real life,” many of whom are hilariously self-righteous about their enlightened political views.

I don't see why that's surprising. Marriage stats in the U.S. still show that people (even minorities) generally marry those of the same race. Is it really surprising that people have a higher preference to connect with those with a similar culture and appearance?

[codygman]

> In some cases it is only yes if you are white.

The reason that this can be true and decidedly not wrong is because of white privilege[0].

0: http://racismschool.tumblr.com/post/55307010922/what-is-whit...

[ohquu]

Right. But when you say

> racism is the belief that one or more race is inherently better or worse in some regard

does this mean that a belief is only racist if it is one that has been consciously considered? What about unconscious/subconscious thought (e.g., preference)? It seems difficult to completely reconcile human instinct with true egalitarianism.