[zokier]

> but they are (as far as historical linguistics can tell) completely unrelated to every other language of Europe

You are forgetting the Sámi languages and Estonian.

[agrostis]

And Mari, and Mordvinic, and Komi, and Udmurt, and Karelian, and Veps, and Vodic (though the last two are, sadly, more or less moribund).