[ianbicking]

> [As a managerial candidate] the CEO talked to Bill as an equal, not as a paternalistic, bullshitting, “this is good for your career” authority figure. There was a tone of equality that a software engineer would never get from the CEO of a 100-person tech company.

As I've gotten older I've learned people often interact with me the way I expect them to. If I expect them to be patronizing while I am submissive, I will be shy and withdrawn and the person will try to move on from the conversation, often in a way I will find patronizing (especially because I will compare their responses not to what I said, but to what I wanted to say).

Similarly if I interact with someone as an equal they will respond in kind.

Managers are more likely to have figured this out too (if they are any good), while engineers are often quite poor at this.