[partisan]

I hope you have found someplace safe to lay your head. I went through a very similar situation as you, attending an ivy league university only to find myself overwhelmed, unhappy, and feeling like there was no one I could relate to, culturally, due to growing up as part of a marginalized group in the very same city I attended university. I was as depressed as I ever was in my life and spent days locked in my dorm room with the shades shut and considering the most horrible options because my life was over as I saw it.

It's amazing to me to think that was 15 years ago because life has a funny way of going on. One of the most valuable traits you have already discovered, due to your battle with cancer, is your resilience. You will adapt, learn, and grow from your experiences.

Here is how I found my way out of the situation: with the help of my family, I transferred to a public college, worlds (but only blocks) away from where I was previously. I re-invented myself enough to succeed and have a meaningful career thus far and continue dreaming for better.

I recommend that you apply to a school like this, one with a somewhat decent computer science program, but one you can handle and possibly work a job to keep your debt low. Be the best student there and rebuild your confidence. Graduate and get on with life. Most importantly, do not look back with regret because each decision you made was simply a step to where you are now and only a step towards where you will be tomorrow.

[bsho]

I have definitely reworked my short-term plans, and I've set aside the long-term hopes to focus on getting into a local community college. With $1K tuition rates, it's a huge difference from Stanford, but I'm still trying to work out how get in before the term starts. The past few days have been a rollercoaster, and I'm glad I waited the lowest parts out because I feel a lot better. Thank you for finding this thread and sharing - it helps!