[Sukotto]

I was in somewhat of a similar position earlier in my career. I was afraid to stand up for myself and ended up meekly accepting my employer's BS about how there wasn't money in the budget for raises, but they liked me so much and valued my work and can I please work just a little more unpaid overtime?

I gave away hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of salary for nothing more than a smile and a thank you. And that's not counting the present value of that money had I pooled it with the rest of my investments (nor the opportunity cost of those extra hours worked). In fact the amount I "lost" by being my company's bitch dwarfs my investment returns. And I could have had it without taking on the much larger risks of the stock market. That's maybe the most important lesson.

So don't make the same mistake as me. Get out there and look for a better job. Always be looking for a better job[1]. Give each employer your full effort... And don't hesitate to to jump ship the minute something better comes along. Just like how they would not hesitate to lay you off if it made financial sense to them.

[1] where we define "better" as "job that pays a least the market rate; that you enjoy; learning something that makes you more valuable to your next employer."

You are a business just as much as your employer is. That means you promote your service to potential buyers; understand the value of your service; and charge what the market bear for your service

[patio11]

You are a business just as much as your employer is. That means you promote your service to potential buyers; understand the value of your service; and charge what the market bear for your service

This is the piece of advice I wish I knew early in my career. Tape it to the bathroom mirror and ask "What did I do yesterday which increased the enterprise value of Me, Inc. and what is my plan for doing more today?"

[minusthebrandon]

I totally get it. It's a complete mindset change and those are a little hard to get started. Definitely appreciate the advice.

[Sukotto]

You're welcome, I hope you find it useful. And just in case it's not obvious, let me point out that what you're getting here is free advice from strangers on the internet. So please don't blindly follow anything here without taking some time to seriously think through the possible outcomes and consequences.

--

The first, small, step is to realize that you are the captain of your career. Your boss might care a little bit, but is mostly concerned with his or her own career prospects. Your company is a legal fiction that doesn't care about you at all. If you want your career to be good, you either float along and hope to get lucky, or you take charge of it yourself.

Personally I think you're likely to be ok. Even if you need to make some career choices for long term strategy and taking the short term hit (like accepting a smaller, or 0, increase than you're happy with so you can continue paying your bills while looking for a better job)

If they are already planning to replace you then nothing you do is going to help and you might as well start looking for another job.

If they are NOT planning to replace you, then I believe it's totally reasonable for you to talk to them about level setting your salary to (at least) the high end of what they currently pay plus offsetting your commute costs (gas + wear&tear)...

AND start looking for another job. (Keeping in mind that you are not morally or legally obligated to accept any job offers.)

For negotiating, the most important things to remember are:

- What happens if you cannot find mutual ground with your boss? What are you going to do? Walk out of your job or start commuting for the same salary? Can you live with that until you find a different source of income?

- Your own goals (eg, how much money do you want? What other perks are important to you?)

For money, consider what you would reasonably expect to be paid if you were coming into it with your current level of experience from a different company (assuming no significant commute)

Separately consider how much someone would have to pay you to drive your proposed commute, every day, during rush hour. How much would that need to be feel like it's a worthwhile use of your time?

Summing those numbers gives you an idea of the minimum baseline amount you should aim for. If you can get that much, then you'll be reasonably happy. you should, of course, try to get a higher number than that. DO NOT GIVE THAT NUMBER TO YOUR BOSS

- Your boss's goals. What does he care about? more importantly, what are you in a position to give him that would make him want to make you happy?

The dark side to that, or course, is "what does your boss fear and how can you take advantage of that" though personally I am unwilling to go there.

- What other alternatives do you have RIGHT NOW in your hands? Do you have significant savings? Do you have other sources of income?

Ok... this is getting too long and I'm enjoying the sound of my mental "preaching" voice a little too much. Time to stop opining :)

Good luck! I hope you end up in a happier situation.