[sengstrom]

A little gem from the article: "It was an extremely ugly, long (2 years!) divorce hearing: it made the newspapers because of Bell’s allegations of “extreme cruelty” by Feynman, including the notion that he spent all of his waking hours either doing calculus and playing the bongos."

[ewoodrich]

That quote omits the actual alleged "extreme cruelty":

"...the appointee's wife was granted a divorce from him because of appointee's constantly working calculus problems in his head as soon as awake, while driving car, sitting in living room, and so forth, and that his one hobby was playing his African drums. His ex-wife reportedly testified that on several occasions when she unwittingly disturbed either his calculus or his drums he flew into a violent rage, during which time he attacked her, threw pieces of bric-a-brac about and smashed the furniture."

[hydroxylGroup]

  > during which time he attacked her

Still sounds kind of vague. What, precisely, does the word "attacked" refer to?

[cloudwalking]

  > threw pieces of bric-a-brac about and smashed the furniture.

[sitkack]

That could be polite speak for, "totally lost his shit when when I interrupted a derivation"

If someone trashed my knick-knacks and smashed my furniture for what would be normal personal interactions, I too would ask for a leave of absence.

[BigTuna]

It's important to remember that before the days of no-fault divorce false allegations of cruelty were commonly made to justify the split to a judge. Both parties to the divorce would agree on the story in advance and testify to the same under oath. It amounted to widespread ritualized perjury and was one of the major deciding factors in the passing of no-fault statutes.

This is all to say, take the allegations of extreme cruelty with a grain of salt.

[hydroxylGroup]

That would be a form of "threatening" or maybe "menacing", and yeah, it's intimidation, but I wouldn't count it as an attack.

[knome]

He attacked her, AND he threw bric-a-brak, AND he smashed furniture. Not attacked her by the last two, but in addition. The man was undoubtedly brilliant, spoke well and wrote well.

I don't think it useful, or likely to be accurate, trying to presume his homelife based on his public appearance.

[hydroxylGroup]

So, like maybe he gave her a black eye, and a fat lip? Did her clothes get ripped? Was there lasting evidence of a serious assault?

Did he knock her down a flight of stairs, and the kick her the stomach until she shat blood?

Or did he just kind of push her aside, or grab her by the wrist, and shove her around and yell a lot, after she stood in a doorway between him and his bongo drums?

Did he overpower her and then hold her down and spit in her face? That might constitute serious psychological abuse, and then again maybe it might not be abuse at all according to some people.

Maybe he put her over his knee and spanked her? (some people might enjoy that sort of thing at the time, and then complain loudly about it later)

What does "attacked" mean?

[mpyne]

I've had my wife throw items at me. It definitely felt like an attack as opposed to mere threats or menacing.

[rurban]

Reading the letters would help. A physical attack. "Choking"

But I would highly doubt her credibility having read her smear letter and the questioning methods they did those times, and the four years needed for the divorce.

p64: from an "Los Angeles Times" report 7/18/56 "His ex-wife reportedly testified that on several occasions when she unwittingly disturbed either his calculus or his drums he flew into violent rage, during which time he choked her, threw pieces of bric-a-brac about and smashed the furniture."

The other citations left out the choking part literally: "...the appointee's wife was granted a divorce from him because of appointee's constantly working calculus problems in his head as soon as awake, while driving car, sitting in living room, and so forth, and that his one hobby was playing his African drums. His ex-wife reportedly testified that on several occasions when she unwittingly disturbed either his calculus or his drums he flew into a violent rage, during which time he attacked her, threw pieces of bric-a-brac about and smashed the furniture."

I wonder what she wrote on the deleted 13 consecutive pages attachment at the end about his "Evidence of Disloyalty" and "Personality and Character", that the even the FBI decided to delete it. And a second questioning about 2 specific points brought nothing specific, so it was only this famous single letter. I find it interesting how she made up the numbered list of arguments which sound like FBI wordings, probably influenced by the questioning method.

She is summarized by the FBI as "She said that her personal feeling is that FEYNMAN is without character or acceptable moral fiber. She ... emphatically he is not acceptable to her as an appointment to any position with the U.S. Government which would require moral character and emotional stability." (p188) And she refused to furnish a signed statement on these allegations.

[alexjeffrey]

if only we could all live in a world where the highest form of domestic abuse was calculus and playing drums.

[jimhefferon]

At that time, in those jurisdictions, you could only get divorced under very precise circumstances. One of the few ways was for one spouse, typically the woman, to assert "extreme cruelty."

I don't know any more about this divorce than anyone else here but I do know that at the time people did whatever it took to fit in the required "extreme" criteria.

[CamperBob2]

It was also a matter of mutual agreement; sometimes the husband and wife would agree to accuse each other of crap like that. You know you have terrible public policy when couples are incentivized to slander each other in order to separate amicably.

[Turing_Machine]

Another common ruse was setting up a fake adultery with the help of an accommodating friend. One spouse would take a picture of the other spouse and the friend coming out of a motel room. Instant grounds for divorce.

[ceejayoz]

It said "including", not "exclusively", and continued loud music is a well-known psychological torture used in detainee interrogation...

[matchu]

There's a big difference between blasting music in someone's face for hours and playing an instrument regularly.