[matwood]

So you and I are in a meeting and you throw out an idea. Would you rather me a) call you a fucking idiot without even thinking through what you said and move on or b) explain why I don't agree with your idea and let you clarify?

Even if the idea had zero merit, it is still in my long term interest to talk it through with you if I want you fully engaged on the team. The idea could be a teaching moment or even lead to an idea that works.

In the end it is not about being overly nice, but being respectful.

[sejje]

That's a ridiculous way to make a point.

Being blunt and calling someone a "fucking idiot" are not the same thing.

[matwood]

You're right that I was projecting my personal experiences. The people who I have worked with who called themselves blunt and honest were the same people who never defended an idea and instead resorted to calling everyone else idiots.

Saying you are blunt is often a way to sound superior or right when being rude to someone. Very few problems are as straight forward as 1+1=2, which is easy to state bluntly. Most problems though are more nuanced than that, and I have personally found that people who like to think themselves superior to others like to hide behind words like honest and blunt.

[seanmcdirmid]

Depends how efficient you want to be about it. Also, respectful is quite different from "nice," but people's definition of what being nice means is quite diverse.