[upthedale]

This was one of my key take-aways from Dale Carnegie's classic, 'How to Win Friends and Influence People'. I've seen it mentioned on various reading lists for those wanting to go into the business world too.

Funny thing is, when recommending it to a friend, they mistakenly assumed from the title that it was a book of underhand tactics, which couldn't really be further from the truth. There's a lot to be said for being genuinely nice to others.

[thisone]

I think How to Win Friends is one of those books that you (you being someone in the supermajority of people who isn't naturally gifted at interpersonal relationships) know you should read but you avoid it.

Then one day, you are desperate and you read it and wonder "my God why didn't I read this sooner!"

[corobo]

I've avoided it for so long as it does look like it's either a manipulation guidebook or a social skills for dummies book. Your comment has convinced me to give it a go :)

[jonnathanson]

I think a lot of folks today never get around to reading it because they assume it's old or outdated. (It isn't. Human psychology hasn't changed much since Dale Carnegie's day.) Alternatively, they read something sinister, or else hucksterish into the title. To be fair, the idea of "winning" friends implies a sort of gamesmanship. And the idea of "influencing people" can make one think of manipulation or politics.

The interesting thing about the book is that it can be read in either light: as a Machiavellian guidebook, or as an earnest how-to about the principles of mutual friendship. Carnegie probably intended the book to be the latter, however, and that's the spirit in which I read it. It is very much worth reading. People can do what they will with the information in the book, but I hope they do good with it.

[mercer]

> Funny thing is, when recommending it to a friend, they mistakenly assumed from the title that it was a book of underhand tactics

Most people I've told about this book have the same reaction, to the point where I suspect that Carnegie picked the title on purpose to get 'manipulators' to learn how to actually be good people.

[merrua]

I've been making the same assumption. :) So thanks for mentioning it isn't. I'm happier now to spend money to read it.