[visakanv]

Yup. I think the real problem here is the overly tight coupling of achievement and self-esteem. You have to separate the two, because otherwise you're stuck on a treadmill with no escape.

I think Elizabeth Gilbert put together an accessible TED talk about this, and it's also in parallel with Albert Ellis's idea of Conditional-Self-Esteem vs Unconditional-Self-Acceptance. All you can hold yourself to is a commitment to showing up and doing the work. The results are almost irrelevant.