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by neurostract 4386 days ago
[throwaway, because I still don't feel comfortable attaching my ADHD to my online and real life persona]

It's been a long road to medication for me.

I was sexually assaulted as a child. My parents divorced when I was a fourteen. I spent three weeks over christmas in a mental hospital with an incorrect bipolar diagnosis when I was fifteen. I basically ran away from home seven years later when I moved to where I am now.

Things were tough the first year. They got better after that, but over time my addictions took their toll. I struggled with alcohol abuse, tobacco addiction and constant marijuana use -- and a pervasive question of, "where did all my money go?"

My professional life suffered for years. The first few months on a job I would do extraordinarily well. But things would slide. I'd end up reading HN, reddit, digg, tumblr instead of working.

I'm lucky at my current position: I've been here for over four years now; I've made it through two buyouts of the company and one CEO resignation.

It's the longest time I've ever spent at a single job.

A year and six months ago I moved in with a person who I'd always thought was my best friend. I didn't know that I'd end up co-dependently (financial, emotional, et cetera) supporting their own addictions. They couldn't remember entire conversations we had only a day later. I took a long look in the mirror and started to see the negative aspects addiction in my own life. My room was never clean. I had clean clothes maybe four times a year when I got off my ass to bring them to the laundry room (in the basement of the apartment building -- a quick elevator ride away). I wasn't brushing my teeth regularly. I could barely get to work on time, and I spent all my free time drunk, stoned or both -- and binging on netflix and hulu and porn. I had dozens of empty beer bottles lining my desk, the floor... and I constantly complained that I didn't have the time to work on the things I spent all my time dreaming about.

I started seeing a therapist. I moved out soon after, into my own place with my own lease.

Four months after moving out, I was still binging occasionally but not eight bottles of beer a day. Not smoking (either tobacco or marijuana, but holding onto my e-cig like a safety blanket). But my place was a mess. There were boxes from the move that I hadn't unpacked yet. There were other boxes that were flattened but not taken out. Recycling was everywhere. Dishes were piled in the sink. My clothes hadn't been laundered in two months. I spent my free time distracted by TV, distracted by books, distracted by computer games, distracted by anything I could get myself distracted by -- if only to escape from the shithole I called my apartment (in fact, it's quite a nice place). My therapist was concerned because I seemed to lack an 'inner parent.' I just passively was, instead of actively be.

Even when I was watching TV, or reading, or listlessly listening to music, I wasn't actively involved - my mind was elsewhere. I had a thousand trains of thought in my head, and nobody minding the switch. It was as if my brain was a room lined with televisions, each of them changing channels at random with the volume turned to 11.

I made an appointment with a psychiatrist, and was quickly diagnosed ADHD and put on Adderal. I was rather surprised, considering its potential for abuse and my history with alcohol and other drug abuse.

Over two weeks my dose was increased from 5mg a day to 25mg a day (15 in the morning, 10 in the afternoon). More than that and I felt too jittery.

All of a sudden it was like I had control over the remote control for that wall of televisions. I could choose to turn them all off and focus in on one, and even modulate its volume.

I could notice when I was getting distracted, and refocus myself. I was able to introspect without falling into a spiral of self doubt, self pity, and self loathing.

I don't binge anymore. I now realize that alcohol binging was self-medication - it was a way to dull my mind enough that it wasn't buzzing with overactivity. The last time I tried marijuana, I realized what it actually did was the precise opposite of what my Adderal did. Now that I know what it's like to actually be able to concentrate on something, I have no desire to use a drug that absolutely obliterates my ability to concentrate.

I still struggle with the urge to drink heavily, but am actually able to have only one or two beers with a nice dinner out on Saturdays. Booze on weeknights is a big no-no. I have a very strict schedule I stick to after work, because if I stray from it I have an extraordinarily difficult time sleeping. I miss my drinking buddies, but I also feel the desire for friendships that are more than planting your ass on a stool and getting shitfaced together. My nicotine intake is down from 72mg/day to 36mg/day. By new years, I will be nicotine free. Marijuana use is nil.

I was diagnosed ADHD at age 29.5. I have years of therapy ahead of me. I struggle with disappointment with my family for not seeing it and helping me. I struggle with disappointment in myself for not being stronger.

It may be overdiagnosed in some children, but it can also be underdiagnosed. And the impact of not knowing what the hell is wrong with you is more devastating than anything I can think of.

7 comments

Wow. I actually have a new patient/establishment doctor's appointment on June 18th to speak with a physician about my lack of ability to focus on tasks and whatnot for more than a few minutes. Reading your post describes me very, very well with the exception of the cleanliness portion.

I am constantly tapping my toes or fingers, biting my nails, clicking my teeth to the beat of a song stuck in my head, etc. My knees even get sore from tapping my foot/shaking my leg while driving in the car. I've been wondering for some time if I suffered from ADHD but didn't want to self-diagnose, and I was too lazy to look for a doctor. Finally set the appointment two months ago and I am ecstatic about finally speaking to someone about it.

One thing that really struck a chord with me was your description of alcohol consumption. Some of the the best stretches of productivity in my life have been when I was holding a buzz after two beers, or the week I was taking Vicodin for a wrist injury. It's like they calm my brain down enough to let me get things done.

I also feel like many people just shirk it off as me being lazy about doing things. Want to study for that certification you've been talking about? Just sit down and do it; turn off the distractions and get to work! It isn't that easy, yet I feel guilty when people think of it that way, even though I know there's more to it.

Thank you for sharing your experiences, it has given me some hope that I might be able to get some help with this.

You're welcome. Good luck! Seeking professional help was a very difficult step for me. It meant facing a lot of things about myself that I really didn't want to.

Please keep in mind that if you are diagnosed ADHD: medication, if directed, is only one part of living with it! A comprehensive treatment plan is absolutely necessary. You can't just pill it away. A lot of my treatment so far has been forming healthier organization habits, especially around time use. I had the plan before I started the medication, but I felt like my transmission was stuck in neutral. For me, at least, the medication a facilitator for the cure, not the cure in and of itself.

I got one on the 18th as well. Spooky. Scared and happy at the same time.
Glad you seem to be figuring it out while still young. Lots of good life ahead. I'm like you but it took years on Adderall before I started to figure it out, and recovery (from depression, or not taking care of oneself properly, or addictions, I don't care to slap a label on it) -- recovery comes from within, no pill magically cures those problems with the 'self'.

I do agree with medicating ADHD, though. When I first started treatment (~7 years ago), I felt like I was finally on an equal playing field with my peers -- I could use my brain normally/efficiently.

While my childhood was better then your (by a lot) a bolt of fear ran through me when I read your description of what happened when you moved out. I have almost all the same problems presently, with a N2O instead of alcohol.

I was just prescribed Ritalin yesterday, and you've made me hope that this will be the one that actually works thanks.

I identify strongly with vast swaths of your post, which reaffirms my plans to begin some medication management within the month. (My psych provider was a bit concerned about my blood pressure, so he/she had me visit a PCP who wants to monitor my blood pressure for a month before he signs off on proceeding with stimulant medication, or I'd be on it now).

For me, I was diagnosed when I was in 4th grade, but my mother didn't want to medicate. I was able to more or less cope a little bit while school and such gave me structure - I was able to cope as long as school provided me with strong structure. But as soon as all that structure started to dissolve I began to struggle quite a bit, and three years ago any structure provided by others all but dissipated.

Thanks for sharing.

You're welcome, and good luck.

It took about a month from diagnosis to beginning medication- my psychiatrist wanted to look into my previous hospital stay, have conversations with my therapist: there was definitely an unspoken worry about my past alcohol abuse.

> It may be overdiagnosed in some children, but it can also be underdiagnosed. And the impact of not knowing what the hell is wrong with you is more devastating than anything I can think of.

This.

I skipped three grades in elementary school and was used to thinking of myself as a prodigy, but when it came time to study things that weren't immediately interesting in University -- I kept feeling like I was fighting some "other". Hmm. I like compilers, and I've got an exam tomorrow, and I know I should study, but let's just play one more round of Unreal Tournament (and I know I'm BSing myself that it's just one more round, but F-it).

When I first started ADHD meds (Dexedrine + Wellbutrin) it was like that experience where you suddenly realize that the room has gone quiet, but you don't recall precisely when. Normally, I'd have a ghostly music video running in my head just below the level of consciousness. Thoughts darting, snippets of music, visuals. All that was just gone and I was just there. Kind of like a flow state when playing sports. It was very interesting.

I eventually developed side effects to the meds, and stopped taking them. In the decade since, I've been diagnosed with severe sleep apnea. I'm treating that with a CPAP machine, and the results have been incredible. I can still go down research rabbit-holes, but generally have much more control over my executive functions, and I don't fall asleep at my desk every afternoon. Note that at the time of the ADHD diagnosis, I had borderline sleep apnea, not severe.

So, now I don't really consider myself to have ADHD. Aside from any possibly incorrect diagnosis due to sleep apnea, I feel that it's important to go beyond labels.

Identifying with a label is the first stage. Ok, now you've got an explanation, and a body of knowledge to help. But, I feel the eventual goal should be to move beyond that label. This is where the ADHD as broken leg analogy breaks down. We can't (AFAIK) heal a broken leg only with our minds, but I think we can develop enough skills and life experience to turn "you've got ADHD" into "you're creative and slightly impulsive".

EDIT> One strange attentional trait that I've still got is that I hear everything. Like, I thought I had super-human hearing for a while. It's not, but it makes open-concept offices extremely annoying. Co-workers are constantly surprised that I can hear their conversations from 40 feet away.

> Normally, I'd have a ghostly music video running in my head just below the level of consciousness. Thoughts darting, snippets of music, visuals. All that was just gone and I was just there. Kind of like a flow state when playing sports. It was very interesting.

I know what you mean. I've used the analogy of having a plethora televisions on in my brain, all tuned to different cacophonous channels with the volume to 11 and no clicker. The medication gives me a clicker, so I can turn all the ones I don't want to pay attention to off. It doesn't get rid of my distractions: it gives me agency over them.

>This is where the ADHD as broken leg analogy breaks down.

I don't like that analogy one bit -- it implies that something is broken in me, and once it's fixed I'll be okay after maybe some physical therapy. Something isn't /broken/, my executive functions are /impaired/. Fixing that negative brings a host of positives with it: my brain makes creative connections all the time; my problem solving abilities are fantastic (even more so now that I have agency over those abilities instead of just letting them 'percolate' while I distract myself); yes, I'm a little impulsive -- but that just keeps things interesting ;)

Managed ADHD is a boon. Unmanaged, untreated, undiagnosed ADHD is crippling.

Came back to add:

I understand what you mean about hearing everything! It's odd, because often I have to ask people to repeat themselves, but it's not because I have a hard time hearing. My 5th grade teacher even had me tested for hearing difficulties. The truth is I hear too well (even after years of death metal concerts attended sans ear protection) ... and I can't necessarily tune other stuff out (or my own thoughts) well enough to actually pay attention to what someone has said.

I think it's telling that I can still hear the refresh rate on most CRTs at nearly 30 :)

This is my life almost exactly. I am a bit younger, and my drug problems might be more severe.
Get help! It's hard. It is really, really hard. But ultimately worth it.

I neglected to mention that for a good five years or so I experimented with just about anything I could get my hands on: research hallucinogens (2CI, 2CH, 2CB, 5MEO-DMT in addition to LSD and mushrooms), cocaine, dextromethorphan hydrobromide, various opioids...

Alcohol, nicotine and my distractions were my addictions.

Thank you for sharing!