[jsolson]

I don't share that takeaway from the article. What I took away was:

1) She's looking for someone who has confidence in a well formed personality all their own.

2) That personality is not defined by what they do for work.

3) Part of that personality includes taking an interest in the lives and personalities of other people, particularly in the context of a one-on-one social situation who's entire purpose is (arguably) to get to know one another.

Sure, I'm certain that if all of the traits you outline came by in one package they'd happily take it, but the complaint seemed to be that she's encountering men who, having any of those qualities, assume that's like having all of them and don't bother to develop the rest of the bits that make us human and tolerable to fill in the gaps.

My reasoning behind this takeaway is that I spend a fair amount of time hanging out in (apparently) the same neighborhood and same bars that she does, and I find a lot of the folks who aren't interested in talking about anything other than what they do for work similarly insufferable. That said, I'm a guy. I work in tech. In Seattle. For Google. After having gotten tired of Amazon. I routinely catch myself being part of the problem (although not the dating problem as I haven't been single in over ten years).