[gress]

You're confused about what equality means. When a group has less power, they have more to risk.

You are staunchly defending the status quo, and insisting that all change is the responsibility of women.

[mreiland]

No, everyone else is confusing an entire gender with a person.

It is not fair to ask person A to put themselves at risk for person B when person B is not willing to put themselves at risk for themself.

This isn't about gender, if it were two men, no one would blink twice at me asking why the software dev didn't put themselves at risk. But because we have a social expectation of protecting women, even by women themselves, people expect the male software dev to put themselves at risk for the female software dev, even if the female software dev is not willing to put themselves at risk.