[Noxchi]

"What do you do for a living?"

"I'm unemployed"

"What do you want to be doing?"

If you take an interest in people, it's not hard to continue a conversation.

Instead the author decided

> Hurr I heard a black person say they didn't have a job, better stop talking to him then write an article about not being too inquisitive lest you uncover people fitting into stereotypes!!

Which is racist because it implies the stereotype is true and that you should change your behavior so that you do not upset people over it. Instead of treating the person like a person and continuing the conversation.

[marcomonteiro]

I agree. I was a little thrown off by the quick link to being racially insensitive. I figured he just left out a lot of context. It was also a little strange that something like that wasn't disclosed by his significant other (they were engaged) before meeting.

The first thing that really came to mind was why did it matter what race the soon to be father-in-law was. If I was caught in that situation I would've quickly asked "by choice or just bad luck?". Then either politely ask if I may inquire as to what inspired them to choose to be unemployed or sympathize with their situation.

Either way I think if your genuinely interested in a person you find ways to move on in a conversation. In every relationship, whether new or old, you're bound to come across some uncomfortable situations but you just keep moving along.

Though I do like his other question more. It seems like it would lead to revealing the things the person enjoys most.