[jordo37]

I agree that this is balanced advice, but I worry that it is actually another way of masking the problem. In the example she gave with Brad Feld, his response to her critique wasn't really LESS sexist, just more absurd. That may just be an issue with the the example though.

In a broader sense, intent is nearly impossible to determine, and it's dangerous to put the responsibility for understanding intent on the party that is being offended. I edited a comics section in college, and I am not sure how I feel to this day around the nature of offense and intent, but taken to an extreme this feels similar to someone telling girls to dress conservatively to avoid rape - its not HER job or MY job to make sure that something dumb is not done by another party.

[joelrunyon]

> to look for the intent behind the words

It's just giving the benefit of the doubt - not attributing malice to what might be just ignorance.

I think it was a refreshingly balanced perspective.

[Dewie]

Her critique? The way I read it, I interpreted as a joke on her part, which he in turn bounced off of.

What is sexist about "sitting here with our dick in our hands", anyway? Does it say that men are better because they have... dicks to hold on to? That she doesn't have a dick so she can't join in some literal circle jerk later? It's an expression. Sure, it's "othering" in a sense, but all it really is as an expression of a sentiment of passiveness and inactivity. I think most people have felt passive and complacent at some point.