[ewest]

Hi,

Your story is really nice and your motivation is well stated in your blog post: "...the fragmented condition and outdated technologies of the commercial real estate industry continued to frustrate me.....I decided to find a better solution"

I feel your story stands out with that one sentence - it would have been better to lead with that. I also feel the emphasis on your age and role as a single parent takes away from your central motivation when you lead with those points.

My 0.0000424 btc! Good luck with your startup

[karencrye]

Great suggestions. I was looking for a "hook" to stand out. This is such a great learning experience and I really appreciate the feedback.