[bicx]

This is interesting to me because my brother and I (both in our later twenties), ended up taking two different paths. I knew what I wanted to do since high school (software engineering), unwaveringly pursued my 4-year degree with solid scholarships, got a good job the day after I graduated, and bought a house at 25 with a decent down-payment.

My brother, on the other hand, did not have that kind of luck. He tinkered around in college, then joined the Navy. After a couple years, he was discharged early (but honorably) due to panic attacks while attempting one of their most difficult programs. Now he's back at my parents' house as he pursues his degree in environmental science (the closest thing he could think of that matched his interests) at a community college. My family noticed he seemed a bit depressed as his 25th birthday approached last month. Turns out he was pretty upset that at 25, he hadn't gotten anywhere in life.

I feel sorry for him because he's compared to me. I am not a better person. I just have a more studious, middle-of-the-road demeanor, and I know what I want to pursue. There was no moment where I was like, "Man, I need to settle down and pick a career." It just happened, and I was blessed enough to have had a straight path to the "American dream."

My brother isn't in that stage of emerging adulthood by choice. He wants to be viewed as a respectable adult. It's just that he was not gifted with well-defined, lucrative goals, and he doesn't want to do something he hates simply for a good paycheck. I wouldn't have either. It just worked out better for me, and now I look like I have my shit together.

[sbilstein]

I feel the same way. My success as a programmer is some combination of luck and hard work, but it'd be unfair to judge others based on the kind of luck I've had. I was lucky to have been exposed to computing at an early age, stumble upon source code for qbasic games, like programming, major in it, and happen to have my graduation date align with a huge period of growth in our industry.

Good luck magnifies the effect of hard work, bad luck can make it appear non-existent.

[bicx]

Definitely. When I started my degree, it was during a time when everyone was worried that all IT-related were going to India. However, I chose CS anyway because I enjoyed it. I just lucked out. The industry has been booming, my LinkedIn account blows up with recruiter emails, and I traded my stuffy corporate job for a startup position with a work environment heavily weighted toward employee comfort. I get into work at 10am wearing shorts and a t-shirt, and somehow I'm still a responsible adult. It's ridiculous. Hard work definitely helped, but I was also at the right place at the right time.

[bosie]

Success as a programmer meaning what exactly? Salary or knowledge?

If its the former, i reckon ""with a huge period of growth in our industry" has a lot more to do with it than anything else you did. If you studied ancient greek instead, all the hard work in the world wouldn't have helped you.

[sbilstein]

Yep, I agree completely. That's what I meant by "Good luck magnifies the effect of hard work, bad luck can make it appear non-existent."

[debt]

I feel bad for your brother because I've been there. You should tell him to seriously consider taking the highest paying job he can get, as soon as he can get it, in whatever field he can. It's just a depressing slog, emotional/physical drain until he comes to that conclusion.

I'm not saying give up on your dreams AT ALL. I'm saying it's just too hard to do both simultaneously; that is, to see the world pass you by while you attempt to pursue your interests with little to no income.

I find it's much easier to do it with as clear a head as possible. Get a nice, decently-paying, steady job and then figure out what it is you're really interested in. I'm sorry but it's just too damn physically and emotionally exhausting to be broke and checking FB only to see how "successful" most of your friends/family. The "success" is something simple, as you say, as just having a job that pays well enough for you to forget about money(that is if you can budget appropriately).

After that you'll be able to really focus on creating that path to your passions. Or maybe I'm just a total square.

[pnathan]

N.b., I have seen very good success rates with people who put their eye on a reasonable and achievable goal, planned it out, and then worked on it. Finding yourself as a plan has a long and rough road.