| Wow. I was thinking of writing a similar post just two days ago. I am almost the same as you; I have been struggling with procrastination for almost 20 years now, sometimes successfully and sometimes not. Some quick notes about what I have understood: * I am depressed. I have EVERY symptom of chronic depression listed here: http://www.webmd.com/depression/guide/chronic-depression-dys... However, I don't know whether I procrastinate because I am depressed, or whether I am depressed because I procrastinate. * Procrastination is a way of avoiding pain - the effort required in "work". * Procrastination itself is addictive: it gives instant pleasure instead of the pain of "honest work". And the person procrastinating intellectually knows that it is bad for them, but once they are truly addicted to it, they are unable to stop. * Procrastination is a habit, and habits can be changed. * Habits are just patterns of behavior that we have memorized in our sub-conscious minds, so that we don't have to think about performing a certain action, or taking a particular decision, over and over again. It is a labor-saving device for the mind. If we had to think anew about every action we do / every decision we take, we would quickly get tired. But once an action or decision become a habit, we don't have to think about it; it just happens automatically. That's a great energy saver, if the actions / decisions are "good" for us, but can be life-destroying if the actions / decisions are "bad" for us. * Habits can be changed. First, mentally review what you will do the next time you are in a "moment of choice" - such as sitting in front of your computer. Resolve to do your client work instead of playing a game. Actually visualize doing that: ignoring the urge to play a game, calming yourself until the urge subsides, and then calmly doing the "right thing (TM)" - opening up your IDE and coding. Next, when you really are in the moment of choice, really do the above. To elaborate: You will feel the urge to fire up a game. At that moment, tell yourself that you have been down that road before, and you know where it leads. Tell yourself that it is ruining your life, and you won't accept it any more. That you will do the "right thing" (TM) no matter what. At this moment, you may have to stop everything and just breathe slowly and deeply until the "urge" to play the game subsides and you are calm again. Once you are calm, it is easy to take the right decision. The first few times you do this, you may find it difficult, or almost impossible. But trust me, it can be done. And the more often you do thins (calm yourself until you can do the Right Thing), the easier it will become. You see, this will slowly become your new habit, and the old habit will fade away because you will no longer be reinforcing it. All the best! Write to me: tech.rohit@gmail.com |
Wanted to say the same thing. What OP described are clear signs of depression.
To OP: It's important to realize, that it's hard to deal with depression on your own. Consulting a professional might seem intimidating at first, but it's worth it.
If you don't want to consult a professional for whatever reason, try getting out of the house as much as possible. Try working in public places if you can. Going to the gym is actually harder because it requires more effort once you're there.