[xerophtye]

>Nobody wants to invest in somebody with a bunch of failed entrepreneurial ventures. But if you sit back, take a check, work on cool shit and build an impressive body of work, well then perhaps people will be more willing to invest in you.

Exactly. If your ideas aren't working right now, why not work on some other guy's?

I can see that you're willing to let someone else handle all the business side. So why not not join some start up that you believe in, and provide your tech skills to help realize their dream. In the mean time you can learn how they did the business side. This will also alleviate you from your financial troubles (though do you really have them? considering your $5000...)

And then some time in the future, someone will provide their business skills to help realize your dream.

Either way, it's time to get a job.

> go bang your girlfriend and give her a massage.

Yep, she deserves that for sticking with you through all this.