[annasaru]

It's very hard to deal with such an issue all by yourself. Hope you get therapy or coaching , something to ease your burden . It can definitively get better with time. Drinking is notoriously hard to shake off because it is sanctioned in so many situations for adults. I know this sounds crazy , but maybe join a group ( Art of Living, Hare Krishna, Sai) where you are forced to be constantly surrounded by people. These are safe ways of delivering a mental jolt while being surrounded by empathetic folks.I don't subscribe to them , but suggest use them as a tool and it's not hard to shake them once you are cured) . OR volunteer somewhere in a group that takes your mind off. Sorry I seem to be hawking Indian spirituality - but these groups that I mentioned readily accept anyone - and make them feel at home. Am sure other ethnic communities in the USA also offer similar.. All I am saying is a mental jolt, and gentle empathetic friends and family can cure , last but not least, a qualified therapist.

Being part of a group will accelerate your recovery , drain your negativity and heal. Talk is cheap so I will stop here.