[silencio]

> I'm still debating going to see a doctor but I think they might write me off as an addict since I'm in my 20s...

> Honestly, I had to look that one up...that didn't describe me much at all

When I was 18 and two years into college, I started to realize that everything non-drug-related I had done with my parents and therapists in the past wasn't working as well as it used to. Not quite a couple years later I was super tired from having bronchitis for six months, and everything imploded around me because I had no energy left to do anything. The new therapist I saw during then thought that I was being ridiculous by thinking of myself as a drug-seeking addict when drugs I had never actually tried before were the one thing I really needed at that point. I was so convinced I was in the wrong that I had been crying for over thirty minutes straight about it to her.

tl;dr impostor syndrome with my own mental health.

I'm in my mid-20s now and nobody that knows me thinks of me as an addict. I don't know what I would do without Adderall at this point - and that's in combination with a decent amount of behavioral strategies/techniques too. Sure, there are lots of people out there that abuse it, but I am just a total mess without and there's no way I'm making excuses up to keep on being a mess because of what other people do. Seek help because maybe you do have a problem, and you may come to realize that dealing with a known problem (or knowing that you don't have one) is like night and day compared to what's going on right now.