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While reading your great comment, I was hoping you'd continue explaining where these desires and ambitions would come from, and why they can cause burnout. But yes, people will have to figure that out for themselves. I've found that the patterns you describe come very close to conversations I've been having with people about playing music (which I've been doing intensively for quite a while now): I hear a lot of people "wanting to play guitar", or "wishing they could play like <player X>". I often ask them whether they want to a) be seen as a great guitarist, or b) actually play guitar. There's a big difference between a and b. A revolves around the idea that you "are" something, and often, where others can see you as being something. B is about actually enjoying to play guitar, for no other reason than playing guitar. No recognition, no fame, no secondary intentions. Everything you invest large amounts of time in should come from nothing but enjoying that thing you do in itself. But it's not easy. Motivations always get distorted by psychological influences (and that's what you meant by the last line of your comment, if I understood it correctly). There are many people who haven't received much validation or acceptance on a personal level while growing up, for instance. These people will keep reaching, but they'll never reach actual self acceptance. Burnout. It's really important to confront yourself with issues that you can identify inside yourself, and keep (re)defining yourself. Not what you do, but who you are. What you do should be a consequence of who you are, not a reaction to personal shortcomings you're not looking in the eye directly. I'm not a psychologist, this is just my take on things. |
... that's why I didn't go on about my own personal experiences and lack of answers.
> Motivations always get distorted by psychological influences
And if you start investigating the source of your ambitions and desires you may suspect, as I do, that many of them are not your own.
> why they can cause burnout
I hope I explained that. In highly reduced terms it boils down to anticipating the outcome of an endeavor based on an idealized version of reality. When you put in the effort to achieve those outcomes and are disappointed by the results you get burnt out. The hard part is figuring out where your idealized reality is coming from.