|
|
|
|
|
by cbaker
4478 days ago
|
|
I'm sympathetic to the ideas in the article, but is there any, you know, actual /data/ to support that calling kids lazy and telling them their work is unacceptable is an effective way to teach? I talk to people who study this stuff and do consulting for people like the US military (who aren't particularly known for their touchy-feely approach to training), and, as far as I can tell, this doesn't work particularly well. |
|
The essential point is to set clear expectations for performance, and enforce them consistently. There is quite a bit of research along these lines in parenting, coaching, and business management, although I don't have links handy.
It can be hard to stick to this plan in the face of childhood emotional distress. There's a school of thought that the goal of childhood is to relentlessly build up self-esteem so that kids feel good about themselves, and are better equipped to handle hard coaching later. This gives permission to relax performance standards in favor of making kids feel good--e.g. "participation trophies" and "as long as you tried your best."
What this article (and many others recently) argues is that kids are plenty capable of dealing with performance standards, so long as they are perceived as fair and consistent. Kids who learn to persevere and improve are better equipped to continue doing that later in life.
The specific language this coach uses is just window dressing. The important thing is that she does not let her kids off the hook if they fail to meet the standard of performance.