[badclient]

If you know someone who is suicidal and you care about them, spend time with them. In person. Suicide is almost always committed when one is alone.

100%, although I wish we talked more about the challenge of determining that someone is suicidal.

Here's what I wrestle with the most about this. I fear that if I "misdiagnose" someone as suicidal, that I might have now given them the idea that there is such a thing as suicide and it may now become an option, completely backfiring against my goal of helping them.

I wonder if there is best practices although it seems a bit silly given we are basically trying to read someone's mind - something that even they(especially them) might not have clarity about.

[jdswain]

A while ago I had a problem with anxiety and basically panic attacks. Back then I didn't know how to deal with this, so eventually when it got too much I asked for help. I went to a doctor and the first thing they asked about was suicide. I thought, well, I hadn't really considered that, but now that you mention it, it's probably something I should think about. I wasn't suicidal, so I guess it didn't matter, but it sure does make you think about it when everyone is asking you. Overall though I think it is better to ask about it, because you really do need to know. I've heard though that a lot of people that do commit suicide are good at hiding things from people, even their family may not be aware that something is wrong, so even asking that question is not sufficient. When I hear about people committing suicide, I often think why didn't anyone help them. Often the truth is that nobody was aware, that's sad in it's own way, but it does show that a lot of people can keep these things to themselves.

The next thing I felt about the suicide question was that it was a way of categorising people. If they considered suicide, then they need immediate help, otherwise it's no so important, so offer them some pills, refer them to counselling (which was offered to me with a 4 month waiting list, that was not a lot of help). The pills weren't what I needed anyway, so I didn't really get a lot out of going to see the doctor. Talking to your family about it is a really important step though.

[john_fushi]

I dealt recently with a friend who was suicidal. Since I didn't know what to do I called Suicide Action to ask how to deal correctly with the situation and get some pointers on dos and donts.

Basically you WANT to talk explicitely about suicide. From what the lady on the phone said, most of the time the suicidal person wants to talk about it.

[badclient]

Interesting. How did you know he was suicidal? If I am convinced he is suicidal, it is easy to have a conversation. But I feel there is so much gray area and the last thing I want is to make someone who is just feeling a bit down in life from thinking about suicide.

[john_fushi]

She wasn't feeling her usual self and I had to ask explicitely(Do you consider suicide?). For someone who is just feeling down and not suicidal the question might be a bit of a shock, but in the end you are showing that you care and that you are present if things go really bad.

And then again, pretty much everyone knows the existence of suicide. If asking the question and trying to help drives someone to action, chances are something else would have.

[ghswa]

As somebody who's been there (on both sides) I don't believe that anybody who might act on suicidal ideation would not have already considered suicide as an option.

I'd say that, if you're worried, starting a conversation about it (in person) is just about the best thing you could do. A "missed diagnosis" is far worse than a "misdiagnosis".

Sorry for the pun.

[andrewflnr]

I haven't examined the statistics myself, but isn't it known that suicides go up when there are news stories about them, even in a preventive effor? This implies that suicides are, in fact, somewhat suggestible.

[ghswa]

Reading about suicide in the news is incomparable to the kind of direct intervention I'm talking about. As john_fushi commented[1], the best thing you can do is talk about it and his suggestion of calling your local suicide helpline for advice is an excellent one.

On a personal level, I've found that talking frankly about suicide greatly reduces my desire to act on any suicidal feelings. This effect is greatest when talking face to face with somebody I know and trust.

However, worrying about whether or not somebody trusts you should NOT stop you from intervening. If somebody shows a desire to listen and help my in such a situation I'll have a much greater level of trust in them than I did before, even if they were previously a complete stranger or somebody I dislike.

[1] https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=7228997

[Mz]

I am not shy. I tell my kids when I am suicidal. They still live with me and monitor my medical issues closely, so they know when I am being really, really wonky and not just bitching, if that makes sense.

It helps that I have an especially close relationship to them. Also, they were raised by me, so are well educated in certain social paradigms.

[badclient]

Good for you! You make your kids' life so much easier You and your kids are both lucky!

[DanBC]

Do these child carers have access to a support network?

[Mz]

100%, although I wish we talked more about the challenge of determining that someone is suicidal.

I will add that most people who are suicidal will "tell" you. They often talk about suicide, though they may then claim it is a joke. It usually is not. If someone frequently says things like "I wish I were dead", you should take that seriously, basically.