[transman]

> When the world started behaving appropriately toward me… I was gobsmacked.

(throwaway account to say) As a transgender guy, I have experienced a similar contrast in how I was treated as a female and how I am treated as a man. There were certainly clear cases of discrimination, but I never expected the moment-to-moment differences!

As for the change to a tech job. I suspect there are multiple reasons for such a change. As @yetanotherphd mentioned, she's Asian, so probably got a boost from that (not saying it is right, just saying that stereotypes probably benefited her in this case). Some tech industries do seem to have a younger and more meritocratious population. Also, some tech industries are simply in better financial situations, and this can have many effects (e.g., instead of yelling at her about answering the phones while scrubbing toilets, the employer could have hired another employee).

[Technophobe]

Do you mind elaborating on some of the moment to moment differences? Sounds interesting...

[transman]

The single biggest are intentional inclusion in more technical conversations and intentional non-inclusion in more self-appearance conversations. Along the same lines are expected background knowledge.

For reference, I'm in my mid-40's and transitioned over 5 years ago.

Prior to transitioning, I would frequently overhear or walk-into technical conversations about subjects that were relevant or of interest to me. While there were a handful of guys who understood my interest in technology and would intentionally include me, most simply wouldn't even think of including me (and I didn't know any women who were into technology). Thankfully, I never had a guy react badly when I included myself in a conversation, although I would occasionally get odd looks because of my interest and knowledge. Now I'm very intentionally sought out by colleagues (male and female) during technology conversations that are relevant or of interest.

Prior to transitioning, I frequently had acquaintances make suggestions about my appearance; make-ups I should try, how I should fix my hair, etc. While I've had lots of appearance-related conversations with my trans-friends, and I've had the typical, "wow you've changed a lot since I last saw you" conversations (but not as many as I expected). Other than those, I've only had one person comment on my appearance.

One of the more surprising topics that's changed has been car talk. I've never considered myself a car-person, prior to transition this wasn't ever a problem. Since I transitioned, it has come up with alarming frequency. While I've made a point of letting people know that I don't know a lot about cars, I still get comments that imply I'm an idiot for not knowing more.

Another thing that I find interesting is that prior to transitioning, I never had anyone suggest that I go a blind date with a friend of theirs; not one single time! Since I transitioned it's happened several times.

[jrs99]

if you think being an asian woman in tech will give you a "boost" you're absolutely wrong. Not even in China will being an asian woman give you a "boost" in the tech industry.