[loupeabody]

That resonated with me as well. Part of my own personal struggle with connecting with other people is failing to feel totally authentic in conversation. I think that this idea of allowing myself to fully feel my own response before saying anything will help a great deal.

Often, when I'm with people who have strong opinions and voice them aggressively (which is many people I know), I feel stifled. It's almost as though I'm being completely removed from the situation and my true feelings are irrelevant to those in my company. It makes it very easy to close up and withdraw.

[kaplejon]

Authenticity is something I am working on. Too many times I find myself reflecting afterwards and realizing how inauthentic I was because I hit that point where I closed up and withdrew.

This particular issue really affected me in a previous, though past, work environment where a bunch of total knuckleheads were the loud, aggressive voices in every meeting (surely I kid, that doesn't really happen, does it?).

I read somewhere about an introvert leader who said that they would require themselves to contribute something within the first 5 minutes of any meeting, because if they didn't, they knew they would never say anything. This proved very helpful to me, and when I followed it, I was able to steer a lot of decisions in a meaningful direction, even if I then went and said nothing else during the meeting.

And of course, the real benefit was then getting back to work with a course of action that made sense. Which made the work much more enjoyable. I guess that was one of the benefits of authenticity.

Now I'm in different circumstances, and facing the need to be authentic all over again. Stay strong, and keep working at it. I will.