[smalleat]

I have felt that despair, but then I realized I was setting the bar too high for myself. I recognized the simple humanity in myself. I found that I could be satisfied, even happy, with changing my expectations.

My depression is fueled by having very high expectations for myself and then not achieving those. I must admit that I don't always know what's best for myself, and I'm willing to admit that these expectations are delusions of grandeur.

It helps me to think of where I stand in relation to every other living person on this planet, instead of comparing myself to Mark Zuckerberg or Elon Musk. I'm not basing this on real data, but I would guess that most people in this world don't know what Boolean logic is (or care). There are many people who struggle to find clean drinking water for the day, who probably won't eat today (again), and who hear about "the internet" like it's a mystical land.

You are not a failure at life. You have failed to find the right perspective to observe your life from so that you can find meaning and satisfaction in it. Keep trying, that perspective exists and you can find it.