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by NAFV_P 4560 days ago
Sympathies, my dear hacker.

> Few days later, I would be given a curt apology, reassurance that this wouldn't happen again, and Jerry would ask me to forget all about the incident. Jerry would then treat me as if nothing had happened at all, and would back to being polite and professional. Later, the process would repeat itself.

This indicates he is aware of his poor behaviour, but it seems he hasn't given any reasons. You haven't stated whether you have talked to Jerry directly about this, if you haven't I suggest this would be a first step. Whether or not this is successful, analyse what his response was. It will give you a deeper idea of what kind of sociopath you are dealing with.

HNer grumps said below to weigh the risks. This is a very difficult problem that I have dealt with myself, so I would say from my experience to tread carefully. Before doing something, you need to second guess how other people will react, and prepare accordingly.

You mentioned that he makes over the top requests, such as indirect communication via your boss. One idea I would suggest is to bow down to all his requests, no matter how silly (unless it is dangerous or illegal). It sounds like your job is very fast paced and results are demanded on time. Eventually his behaviour will have an effect on the system, especially if he holds a critical position, and it will be noticed.

Shitty behaviour in the workplace seems to be a growing problem (I've seen several articles regarding this trend in the last year or so). Would anybody know of any forums or websites that deal with this? Has anyone come up with a hack to solve this problem?

1 comments

> You haven't stated whether you have talked to Jerry directly about this, if you haven't I suggest this would be a first step.

The only time we've discussed these things is during the post-mortem/apology phase, and it has always been the same reason, stress. I could inquire about it after during a time when Jerry is more professional, I have not tried that.

> One idea I would suggest is to bow down to all his requests, no matter how silly

I have considered this, but since I have learned attempts to resolve this on my own are at best futile or at worst provoke further attacks, I now immediately raise this to my boss's attention, who spends time to calm him down, and at the same time repeals the demands.

I honestly think right now, my best course of action is to prepare for interviews and spend some time lining up something to switch over to. If it happens again between then and now, that will just accelerate my plans.

> ... but since I have learned attempts to resolve this on my own are at best futile or at worst provoke further attacks ...

He sounds like a nutter, getting a new job sounds like a good idea.

I was just thinking, he said sorry, which I find surprising (although whether or not he is sincere is another matter). At my last job I never got an apology for bad behaviour. A young girl who I worked was fucking horrible, when I demanded an apology for her threatening to punch me in the face, she just denied it like a cunt.

> he said sorry

Since every time there has been intervention by my boss prior to an apology, I have no idea if that was requested by my boss or not.

> I demanded an apology for her threatening to punch me in the face, she just denied it

That's really depressing, it sucks that you had to deal with that. May I ask what the conclusion was? Did you end up changing jobs?

> Since every time there has been intervention by my boss prior to an apology, I have no idea if that was requested by my boss or not.

Now that is interesting, I'm guessing that your boss was responsible for those "sorries".

> May I ask what the conclusion was? Did you end up changing jobs?

The conclusion was I got into a lot of trouble for shouting at her, the 2IC was warning me that I could be put on an employment blacklist (he was lying through his teeth), and everyone else just believed her side of the story. I was released from that job a month later. The boss was almost an alcoholic, so I'm not surprised that it was a horror house. I was told that I was "hired by mistake", have you ever come across this situation?