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by esperluette 4547 days ago
Uh, no.

The OP was trying to imply that women are naturally worse at the competitions cited, and I pointed out that women in the age demographic that wins those competitions (usually men 20-50) have less free time than the men.

And ... many women don't "want" to do more housework/chores, but feel they have to do it, because if their house is dirty or their kids don't have clean clothes/snacks for the soccer game, etc., it's considered the mom's fault. The dad often gets a free pass. The social pressure makes it a LOT less than a "choice". The social pressure = society's problem. Think about that the next time you see an ad where a woman is shamed because X in her house is less than sparkling, or one where a man is given a free pass to be incompetent at a household chore.

The average woman will catch much more flak for having a dirty house than she will be praised for playing competitive X, even if she's very very very good. And if she's less than very very very good? She's "neglectful" or "selfish."

If I said a guy "chooses" to wear pants instead of a skirt, is it fair to leave out the fact that a guy in skirt will probably face some harassment? There are free choices and not-so-free choices.

And ... please, I don't want to hear "But yardwork!" The grass gets mown 1x/week. The garbage cans go out 1x/week. The dishes, laundry, general tidying? For anything more than 2 people it's every day.

I'm lucky because my spouse does 80% of the housework, because I have a demanding startup job (uh, with time to read HN).

1 comments

Uh, yes.

The OP was correct in saying that men are better (he didn't say anything about naturally) at the competitions cited.

And...many men don't want to do chess, coding, or Go competitions, but feel they have to do it, because it is often way of getting any recognition from society, which usually reserves it for actors and football players. Women often get a free pass on account of their looks -- people are naturally nice to even an average-looking woman. An average looking man gets squat. This social pressure = society's problem. Think about that the next time you see an ad that portrays the average dad as an incompetent schlub. For instance, this one -- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iymBRSUfz9U

The average man will be treated much worse at a supermarket, a coffee shop, or on the bus, even if he is very very very polite. And if he is less than handsome or wealthy? He's "not really my type", or "ugh, what a creep".

If a girl chooses to dress as a man for a year, it is a fact that she will come out of that experience seeing how harder it is for men. (http://www.theguardian.com/books/2006/apr/01/highereducation...)

And please, I don't ever want to hear about how you (or your spouse) can't do well at chess or programming because you are busy putting out the trash and doing the dishes in your house. I face the same problems regarding housework, and I am still expected by traditional society, even in the US, to be the breadwinner for my family (which is one of the many reasons I will probably never marry).

I don't think you have been paying attention, or maybe you are hanging out in the wrong places. Have you read "Lean In"?

There are plenty of women out there who don't expect their husbands to be the main breadwinner. Go hang out with med students or lawyers. There are lots of women who would LOVE to be able to concentrate on their careers and have their spouse at home with the kids and making dinner. If "traditional society" is expecting you to do X, go find a "nontraditional society"!

Are you doing PUA techniques at bars as a way to meet women? Then yeah, you are competing on looks and wealth. Are you treating women like people and getting to know them as friends?

You might want to look into CBT, because your comments sound like you have some negative thought patterns that you might want to combat. Thinking that everyone is going to treat you rudely or consider you a creep is a great way to act in defensive ways that ... make people treat you rudely and consider you a creep. :-(