[wambotron]

I'm thirty but I do notice many of my coworkers and other folks my age cannot grow up. It's not even just a matter of getting a job. Most of the folks I know are still partying all the time as if they're at a high school kegger.

I'm not sure of the exact cause, but I do think people having children later in life (late 30s, early 40s for many people I know) coupled with the fact that most of them are only having one child causes a bit of over-involvement and softening of parenting. There are too many "special snowflakes" who grow up and cannot handle the fact that none of us are these special creatures and you have to compete for everything you want and need to live.

I think shifting blame to older generations is a result of some of these things. Yes, there have been some messed up things handed down to us, but it's nothing we can't fix. We just have to get our act together, plan things out, and work hard.

Life IS hard, but it's how you respond and adapt to hardships that define you. Blaming everyone else is not going to do anything.

[Swizec]

As a guy who has suddenly become closer to 30 than to 20: Man, partying is SO MUCH MORE FUN when you have money than when you're a broke student counting pennies.

So. Much. More. Fun.

The way I see it, there just isn't any valid reason for wanting to "grow up". I have never seen anyone who is happy claim they are a grown up. "Grow up" is something people who are disappointed in life say when they see you having more fun than they are.

[vanadium]

Growing up isn't about not partying. It isn't about being boring. It isn't about getting married and churning out children. It isn't about being "the man" in any way. It isn't about becoming a fiscal miser who doesn't enjoy his/her money, nor does it prevent you from enjoying some drinks or even your drug of choice, if that's your thing.

It's about accepting and owning what's expected of you as an individual, autonomous, functioning member of society. Nothing more. Owning control of yourself.

Does this mean you have to get married, have children, and stop partying? No, not at all. Does it mean you take the initiative to pay your bills on-time and hold up your end of the bargain at work, at home, in your relationships, and society in general? Absolutely.

I'm in my mid-30s, and I did a lot of very hard partying clear into the twilight of my 20s well into my 30s. The money might have helped, but "growing up" made it a hell of a lot easier to enjoy those times simply because worry wasn't even on the radar knowing everything I could personally control was in check--because I made sure of it. Nobody else controls any aspect of my life that I myself can control.

And yes, with wife, child, and more micro-manageable responsibilities than I could have ever imagined when I was younger, I'm a hell of a happy person. Family, friends, gadgets, code, etc, etc.

What makes you grown-up isn't arbitrary; in the end, it's in fact a pretty clear line that transcends generations: Own. Your. Shit. But I'll leave the rest of the thread to conduct the typical older/younger generational ad hominems.

[xerophtye]

well said

[randomdata]

I was discussing this topic with my uncle recently. To paraphrase, while hopefully not destroying his argument, he speculates that the youth of today struggle to grow up because previous generations have taken away the outlets youth have to "go wild".

All the stupid things he did as a kid are now illegal, and while some segment of the youth population will continue to do those stupid things despite the law, many others will feel the need to refrain, causing pent-up energy, for lack of a better description. Until you get that out of your system, it is difficult to move on to the next stages of life.

From anecdotal observations of the people in my life, it does make a lot of sense to me. The recurring theme I hear is when people are ready to settle down is that they have grown tired of the youthful lifestyle. That is something that only happens after you have experienced it.

[jrokisky]

"you have to compete for everything you want and need to live." I think I'm a special creature. This really depresses me. Do you think this is the ideal situation? I don't understand why this is currently the case. In my opinion there is more than enough to go around, and the majority of our daily problems are caused by other humans.

[secstate]

Woah. That's the problem to a T. You hit it right on the head. You are not a special creature. There are approximately 6 billion other creatures nearly as capable as you trying to make a go of it right now, and a substantially greater number who tried to make a go of it and are now dead.

The majority of our daily problems are caused by ourselves, not other people. We think too much about ME and not enough about others. Try taking 30 minutes a day to intentionally improve someone else's day.

And as long as I'm writing here, I'll note that parenthood becoming something we hold out as long as possible to start down is probably one the single greatest issues facing Western culture, and I'm not even convinced it's altogether a bad thing (teenage pregnancy not great, yada yada yada). But the full weight of responsibility of keeping someone else alive is enough to wake anyone out of their delusions of self.

[jrokisky]

I agree that "we think too much about ME and not enough about others". I don't understand how "having to compete for everything you want and need to live" will encourage people to care less about themselves and more about others. I think the opposite is true as evidenced by the current state of affairs.

I don't agree that "the majority of our daily problems are caused by ourselves". I think most people's daily problems are the result of more intelligent and selfish people taking advantage of them.

I agree that "taking 30 minutes a day to intentionally improve someone else's day" is great advice and a fantastic investment of your time.

[wambotron]

I don't think anything in life is ideal. That's just not how it works. You have to escape the fairy tale and accept the world as it is. I agree with the other guy who said most problems are caused by ourselves. It's really important to understand that you share this planet with 6 billion other people. Step back and reassess yourself, ensure what you think you need is actually a NEED, and be kind to other folks.

[jrokisky]

I never suggested that life was ideal. I don't understand how "most problems are caused by ourselves" and "understand that you share this planet with 6 billion other people" can co-exist while there is very high inequality throughout the world. I will not "accept the world as it is".

[winstonx]

> I'm thirty but I do notice many of my coworkers and other folks my age cannot grow up. It's not even just a matter of getting a job. Most of the folks I know are still partying all the time as if they're at a high school kegger.

I'm thirty but I do notice many of my coworkers and other folks my age have grown too lame to party. If parties are fun, why stop?

[wambotron]

Maybe they're fun for you but not them. Your idea of "fun" doesn't apply to everyone, sorry to tell you. The idea of being grown up and responsible does apply to everyone, though.

If you can party and still keep your shit together, more power to you. I see too many people who CANNOT, though, and the partying is just an escape from real issues they face.