[githulhu]

At the risk of sounding negative, I've found that this is probably a waste of time, because most therapists are utter garbage...

And, it's really no surprise, really, if you look at the average salary for therapists. I imagine that most of the ones who could actually help you are running high-priced practices treating Arab princes and basketball players...naturally they are not going to be found in the provider directory for your insurance...if you even have insurance... (US perspective here)

[Jtsummers]

At the risk of sounding positive, I've found therapy to not be a waste of time, despite therapists being generally mediocre.

As long as they're not an asshole, having someone listen to you and prompt you with questions is incredibly therapeutic. It also helps immensely that you can be confident about your privacy. Just getting it out sometimes is what you need. None of the therapists I dealt with when going through anxiety/depression issues really grokked what was going on in my head (my impression, but perhaps, like a parent, they really did know all along). However, a few 45 minute sessions of speaking and prompting got things off my chest, and my mind redirected on far more positive things than "I'm not good enough", "I'm going to die alone", "No one would miss me if I didn't wake up tomorrow" and other delightful thoughts.

[Amadou]

As long as they're not an asshole, having someone listen to you and prompt you with questions is incredibly therapeutic.

That makes therapy sound like renting a friend. I don't mean that in a snarky way at all, maybe that's even a good definition in some cases.

[_sputnik_]

I agree. I used to go to a therapists for depression and it helped a lot just talk but it was also like having a coach that gave you social exercises (starting small). I have a lot of friends but I feel like I can open up more to my therapists.

[auctiontheory]

most therapists are utter garbage...

I don't have data on "most" therapists, and neither do you, but some therapists can immeasurably change your life for the better.

As for the cost, would you rather work on your inner life (which might bring professional success) or buy that new BMW? Only you can make that decision.

[Jtsummers]

Also regarding cost, I found the cost with insurance to be very affordable. Perhaps my insurance is better than average, but I just paid the same copay I'd spend going to any other doctor ($20). And like going to any other doctor, when you're in pain (mental or physical), it's almost always best to just go and talk to them. The longer you delay the greater risk of it becoming worse, and a small fee to find out that you're ok or not ok is worth it. And when it's something like anxiety or depression, it can definitely get worse. Until you've accumulated more experience with it than anyone really wants (speaking from experience here), it's next to impossible to pull yourself out of it.

[auctiontheory]

Very few employer-provided plans pay for long-term therapy.

If you do use insurance for short-term therapy, all sorts of red flags (aka DSM diagnoses) will forever be branded into your permanent medical record. Obamacare may change some of this - unclear.

In short, while getting therapy is good ... involving insurance is iffy.

[was_hellbanned]

Ah, the old negativity-masquerading-as-insight trick. HN really needs to do something about its implicit approval of such foolery tarted up as meaningful commentary.

[githulhu]

You're right, thanks for calling me out. I thought about deleting the comment. I was just complaining...usually, I can restrain myself, this time, I slipped.

[gcr]

Those exact same words apply to your comment. And to this one. :)

[was_hellbanned]

That's like saying intolerance of intolerance is intolerant.

In fact, I'd like to have simply said, "stop being an asshole", but that sort of direct, rude comment gets downvoted here on HN. Meanwhile, an extremely rude, condescending, dismissive, but roundabout comment stays neutral or is even upvoted.

[gcr]

That's true.

I think it could be interesting if people on HN actively tried to flip their negative comments into a point of discussion.

For example, if we instead said "You sound like you have stories to tell, do you have any experience with bad therapists? What could they have done better?" then the conversation could continue down a more interesting path.

[was_hellbanned]

That's a really good point, and something I'll have to think about in the future. I suppose an awful lot of online "discussions" are really sequential attempts at having the last word.

[gcr]

Most of medicine is listening.

The rest is avoiding further damage -- there are right ways to listen and wrong ways to listen, after all.

That's the difference between an experienced therapist and a bad therapist, or between a trained therapist and an ordinary friend/colleague.