[aufreak3]

The Alan Kay reference is from his OOPSLA'97 talk [2], where he says that he's "apologized profusely over the last 20 years for introducing the term 'object oriented'" and suggests that the Japanese notion of "Ma" or "the unseen stuff that goes between objects" as what is important.

(edit) [3] is a quote from a communication with Kay in 2003 -

"OOP to me means only messaging, local retention and protection and hiding of state-process, and extreme late-binding of all things. It can be done in Smalltalk and in LISP. There are possibly other systems in which this is possible, but I'm not aware of them."

[2] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oKg1hTOQXoY (around 38minutes)

[3] http://userpage.fu-berlin.de/~ram/pub/pub_jf47ht81Ht/doc_kay...